If parenting had closed captions, most of mine would read: [indistinct instructions; child continues drawing a dragon] . For years I said things like “Get ready!” or “Can you please just move ?” and then acted surprised when nobody moved. Between our 18-year-old son, 13-year-old daughter, 11-year-old son, 5-year-old daughter, and 4-year-old daughter, our house is a full-spectrum listening lab. What I’ve learned (the hard, funny, humbling way) is this: kids aren’t ignoring us ; we’re often speaking in parent-ese —vague, multi-step, emotionally spicy sentences that short-circuit their brains. The good news? You don’t need a megaphone; you need a method. Clear instructions are short, specific, connection-first, and timed for success. This post is the exact playbook my wife and I use at home, plus the scripts I share with friends who text me at 7:42 a.m. from a hallway lined with uncooperative shoes. Want deeper guidance...
“Less stress, more connection—that’s the kind of parent I want to be.”